A perfect relationship does not exist anywhere under the heaven. It is the collective efforts of individual that makes relationships work. If you are still out there looking for Mr. Perfect, then I’m sorry because I don’t know how long it will take to get that. In fact, such men are long dead. The effort you make, the good contribution from your end and the willingness to see that there’s a difference in your relationship is what counts. If you are giving nothing you have nothing to get. Before you start looking for a good man, be a good woman. However, that is not today’s discussion. I want to share with you what God has shared with me, which I believe it’s going to make a different in your relationship.
This is a follow-up on the response I have received on the article «What make-up an enviable relationship.» Don’t just read this article if you won’t make use of it. This is a truth you won’t hear anywhere. The bible says, «And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.» Then, it is the application of truth that sets free, not just the knowing alone. So sit back and let’s learn together, the step by step, the ABC of a wholesome relationship.
A – Acceptance.
Love relationships demands that we accept one another the way we are. Our strength, weaknesses, shortcomings, flaws, the beauty we have, the ugly we hide, no matter how rough, neat, good, bad, or the worst. They must be accepted. Accepting your partner the way he or she is, make relationships most enjoyable. It is the key that unlocks rest and absolute peace. There’s no perfect man. We all reach perfection by working on our imperfections. The man you are eying thinking he will be the best guy also has his own flaws and ugly nature. If you leave Harry and marry Henry, you will soon discover how much Harry would have been better. The key or the rule is accept your own treasure in the package it is presented to you. Appreciate what you have.
B – Be open to change and pursue it.
Most of us desires improvement and development in our lives, relationships, businesses and family life, but we don’t always want to pay the price for it. And there’s no way we can get the best out life, if we continue to resist change. A change may be all the requirements needed to solve the problems in our homes. Dr. John c. Maxwell says: Don’t just change enough to get away from your problems, change enough to solve them. If you are serious about changing your life and relationship, then pursue it. And if you avoid paying the immediate price tag of change in your relationship, you will pay the ultimate price of never improving your relationship. Pastor Bob says: Don’t see change as something hurtful that must be done but as something helpful that can be done.» So be open to change in your relationship and be ready to pursue it.
C – Contentment
The cravings of men are never satisfied. Satisfaction is attained when we are contented with what we have. Don’t be trapped by the spirit of discontentment. Make a choice and be satisfied with what you choose. Whether a black woman or a white one, happiness in life is what matters. Happiness is not getting what you want, but enjoying what God has given to you. You reach satisfaction when you are satisfied with what you have. The scripture says, «Not that I complain of want; for I have learnt in whatever state I am, to be content.» Philippians 4:11. Be content with your own spouse. Whatever you have is the best you can ever have celebrate that.
D – Don’t get hooked to your teenage attitude.
In the bible Paul writes: «When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.» 1Corinthians 13:11. To be childish in relationship is a sign of immaturity. Marriage takes certain attitudes from us whether we like it or not. Even if you are still single, the time of singleness will go and the childish character must put be away. Growth is in stages and relationship is like a garden where growth is necessary. At any level you are now, you are neither too small nor too big to lead others if the childish ways of approaching issues are laid aside. James Carse says: One does not bring change to a garden but comes to a garden prepared for change, and therefore prepared to change.» It is childish to think that your relationship will offer you everything you desire without your own contribution. If you are ready for a change in your friendship relationship, drop these childish habits and prepare to change.
E – Exercise self-control.
There are two kinds of people: the self-controlled and the controller. You are either one of them. The controller believes that it the people that do the worst to them. Therefore, they respond by blaming and passing aggression to others. But the self-controlled believes that people do nothing to them without their co-operation. Therefore, they try to deal with themselves and put their feelings, anger, resentment, and any blame under control. When you are able to control yourself, you’ll save the day. Self-control is a man’s ability that put him under subjection and control, even though he is angry or excited. It is the level of a man’s ability to control his temper and feelings, and subject whatever moves him. The scripture, Proverbs 25: 28 says, «Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control». Such a man will still gain control of his emotions even under pressure. Many things seek to gain control over us. Our environments, circumstances and people around us. Some bad incidences, pressures, friends, anger and many more.
Don’t allow a moment of anger to destroy a lifetime relationship. Many issues that lead to divorce come from things like these. Bad temper is not what we should be proud of, but what we should try to change. It will implant our fear in those who could have been of help to us, and they will try to avoid us. People always try to avoid those who are easily angered in order to save themselves from trouble.
F – Find a way to say thank you.
Nothing can be as good in life and relationship than to remember those who have touched our lives in a unique way. One way to relate well in our friendship relationship is to find a way to remember people who have made a difference in our lives. Who wipes our tears away when no one notices that we are crying? No matter what you have received from people, wife or husband, father, mother or friends, in care, cash, encouragement, advise or counsel, find a way to say thank you. The little you have received, the much you have enjoyed and the most you have been given should return in a «thank you» package. Author Barbara Glanz tells about a successful businessman who remembered his 8th grade literature teacher. He wrote to her and she replied this way: You’ll never know how much your letter meant. I’m 83 now and living alone. My friends and families are all gone. I taught school for fifty years and yours is the first thank you I’ve ever gotten from a student. Sometimes I wonder what I did with my life. I will read and reread your letter until the day I die.» Yet this was a woman all the students talked about most in the class reunions, but nobody ever told her. What have you told those who have made a difference in your life? Today, find a way to say thank you.
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